Friday 12 February 2010

影曦的固慮

尋晚同老公講開
佢話佢前幾日帶影曦出去時,影曦無啦啦喊
仲要係喊到好勁嗰種
佢問影曦咩事
佢話"I think I am not gonna see mummy again!"
但係嗰時佢喺屋企樓下咋...佢返緊上嚟
老公同佢傾傾下,發覺佢呢排都諗好多呢d野
佢一路都知到我生時我會去e院,我會同埋Echo一齊返嚟
但係佢好驚我會唔返!
我老公話...上次我豬感感要隔離時,我半夜入咗院
佢一起身就唔見咗我
佢估佢畀嗰次影響到,怕我唔會返嚟!
(我又有兩滴眼淚出嚟...)
我估唔到嘅係...上次我入院會影響到佢咁深
我聽到其實好心痛,真係唔想影曦再經歷D咁嘅事!
其實我半夜咁走咗,我可以handle好D...
如果我喺走前叫醒佢,同佢say bye bye properly,同佢講我過幾日會返,我諗佢會安心D,受無咁大嘅傷害!

當尋晚我又同我姑9傾時,先知原來我入咗院時我老公好擔心我
佢都有諗過我返唔到屋企(因為係連e生都話唔到畀我知,我幾時可以出院)
佢自己都好stressed,自己一個喺屋企睇住病咗嘅影曦(靖翹無病到~)
佢又中咗豬流感喎
又怕我返唔到嚟
我真係完全唔知...我嗰時喺e院只係諗,豬流感係普通感冒,我會好快無事返得屋企
完全唔知老公係會咁擔心㗎囉
而家諗返...真係有d驚

記得我出院返到屋企時靖翹見到我佢開心到喊!
自己覺得好對佢唔住咁!
我知唔係我嘅錯,但真係有少少罪惡感
所以今次我要入院,我真係唔想留咁耐呀!

呢排影曦成日都睇花木蘭(廸士尼嗰套呀!),裡面有講戰爭,有講死亡...
佢而家對死亡多咗好多聯想
但唔多同我地講
佢間唔中都會同我講下孖女嘅爺爺死咗...
我唯有話係呀,上咗天堂,同天父傾緊計呀...

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